Whoah. It’s been a while since I’ve seen so many bogans in one place (the ACDC concert probably, but that was a happy time when I was basking in the ‘glory days’ of the bogan, and therefore emphasising my bogan heritage)...Retro not so happy place. Although here I learned it’s official – the 90’s are retro now! That’s right, Salt N Pepa, En Vogue and Five are played along with your favourite hits from the 70’s, 80’s, and bizarrely, now. Although to be fair to today’s bogan they can’t possibly be expected to have to go more than 12 minutes without hearing “I Gotta Feeling” by David Guetta and the Black Eyed Peas. They may become enraged and start glassing folk.
I think the fact that they sell shakers of illusion is meant to be in line with the ‘retro’ theme, but it kind of creeped me out. And bizzarely, for no apparent reason, when I got in there I went to the bar and WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ordered a watermelon breezer. WEIRD.
Anyway, I was there on a Saturday night for a friend’s birthday and I did actually have a good time dancing to shit music. It needs to be done every now and again. Really, it does! Oh and they have a multi-coloured, flashing light squares dance floor. I know I’m supposed to think that’s naff...but I thought it was cool, in a naff way.
So anyway at places like Retro lurks the predatory cashed up bogan. Having no idea how to actually have a conversation with a female of the species, the Bogan loiters around the area where there are dancing ladies, presumably in case one of them decides to show him their tits (because that happens all the time, you know). So yeah this group was hanging around for what seemed like hours.......not getting that “I’m ignoring you because I’m not interested!!” You see I was dancing with my friends, generally enjoying their company and having a good time when on my way back from the bar, one of them decides what I really want is a nice slap on the arse. As I’m standing there, contemplating this man’s actions, he does it again! I reacted. Swiftly. And kicked him really hard. In the balls. Needless to say I think he might have got the subtle hint that I wasn’t interested. And maybe he’ll think twice before he does it again.
No comments:
Post a Comment