THE CORNER HOTEL

57 Swan St, Richmond VIC 3121

Ph (03) 9427 9198

The Corner Hotel is a Melbourne institution. So many great bands have graced its band room, I love this place. The downstairs bar is a little on the dingy side, however the rooftop as huge, and is a great place to hang for a sneaky beer before a footy game or a show. Wintertime is still game on for the rooftop as they have a pretty good amount of cover and lots of heaters.

Food-wise, the Corner offers standard pub grub (but with some good vego options), they have a $14 pot and parma deal on Wednesday nights and other specials during the week. The menu is a little heavy on the deep fried food. It’s more a place you come to drink and see bands rather than sit down and have a nice meal.

The Corner always draws a really eclectic crowd as you get punters, locals and a few footy heads (who aren’t feral enough for the Precinct or The Swan) which I like. The staff are usually friendly, the rooftop does get pretty busy on Friday and Saturday nights, and they always have a great line up of bands playing. Get on the mailing list if you’re not already!!

THE LEFT BANK

1 Southbank Blvd, Southbank VIC 3006
Ph (03) 9682 4500

The Left Bank is a good place to go for after work drinks. It is large, so good to find a seat and you get served relatively quickly at the bar. They also do meals and bar snacks which are good for those munchies you get when you’ve had a couple of beers and haven’t eaten since lunch, thus are a good stomach liner. The interior is nicely decorated, albeit unoriginal. Don’t come here if you are wearing sneakers, they won’t let you in! They have a good sized outdoor area which is good for people watching. Nice location, not a bad bar.

LA LA LAND

134 Chapel St, Windsor VIC 3181
Ph (03) 9533 8972

La la land is a cute little bar at the Windsor end of Chapel. It attracts a good, mixed crowd, serves reasonably priced drinks and is a nice place to hang out. They play pretty cool music and it doesn’t get ridiculously busy on a Saturday night. Definitely recommended.

THE SOCIAL

116 Chapel St, Windsor VIC 3181
Ph (03) 9521 3979

I was keen to try this place out because I had walked past a few times and liked the purple couches and circular-shaped entranceway. When I went inside, I found they were playing generic Ministry of Sound-style music (a pet hate of mine) so we elected to sit outside but felt like we were basically sitting on the road as our seats were right by the barrier. The staff were friendly and the crowd seemed nice, but we only stayed for one drink.

PUNCH LANE

43 Little Bourke St, Melbourne VIC 3000

Ph (03) 9639 4944

Punch Lane was recommended to me by a girlfriend as my parents were coming to town and I wanted to go somewhere nice, but not too ‘weird’ or ‘different’ as my Dad is pretty fussy with his food. In this respect Punch Lane was perfect. Dad liked it, which meant Mum was happy too.

The staff at Punch Lane were outstanding. They knew their product, very friendly and seemed very passionate about good food. The wine list was also very good, lots of SA wines which I liked!!

We decided to share some entrees and order separate mains. We had some olives, dips and bread and a serve of asparagus with persian feta and black pepper zabaglione. I thought the asparagus was way overpriced as an entrée; it was $19 and there were 6 spears of asparagus on the plate. I thought that was taking the piss a little bit. But other than that the entrees were lovely.

For my main I ordered a prawn and pea risotto which had a nice flavour but I found the rice was a little too crunchy for my liking. You might even say it was undercooked. My best friend M had a lovely gnocchi with pesto, pecorino and ricotta stuffed zucchini flower, the sauce was just delicious. There was also a great scallop dish (with peas, cherry tomatoes and pancetta); fish, crispy duck confit and Dad had a rib-eye which he really enjoyed.

I would definitely recommend Punch Lane as a place to try (or take your parents if they are visiting from out of town!!) but unfortunately it did have one or two things that let it down food-wise. I don’t mind forking out a bit of cash from time to time, but I guess that when I’m paying over $30 for a main I do have much higher expectations than I otherwise would.

THE ITALIAN WAITERS RESTAURANT

20 Meyers Pl, Melbourne VIC 3000
PH (03) 9650 1508

I had heard about the waiters bar from a girlfriend – whose recommendations I trust. Although now I’ll be thinking twice about listening to her!! Apparently this place is yet another ‘Melbourne Institution’, having opened in 1947 as a refuge for Italian and Spanish waiters. The waiters restaurant was cute, decorated like a traditional old style Italian restaurant (in actual fact this is probably the original decoration of the place, it just hasn’t been updated for 50 years…). The staff were lovely and seemed to really enjoy working there, which is always refreshing.

The food was not so great. I ordered a spinach crepe from the specials board which was quite nice, but a little on the oily side. The pasta my friend ordered tasted like it had come straight from a “Latina fresh” packet with some D’Oro jar sauce poured over the top. If I want to eat that I can do that quite easily at home (although I at least make my own sauce for my Latina pasta, which is more than I can say for this place!) .I definitely don’t want to pay for something I can do at home in 5 minutes AND tastes better. So unfortunately, no I won’t be returning to the waiter’s restaurant.

El Matador

376 Smith St, Collingwood VIC 3065
(03) 9417 2233

I heard that El Matador does the best Spanish food in Melbourne. So a couple of friends and I decided to check it out one night. It was great. I enjoyed the food and the company so much that I forgot to take photos, so apologies for that but I’m going to blog about it anyway.

El Matador is attached to a pub, a bit different for a Spanish restaurant but it works. We started with a jug of Sangria, which was really nice, and ordered some entrees to share. The entrees were great. Patatas bravas, mushrooms in garlic sauce and chorizo – all beautiful! Then for the main the three of us decided to share a seafood paella - usually intended for two. The paella was fantastic. It was perfectly cooked, nothing had stuck to the bottom of the pan and gotten burnt, and the flavour was great. AND it wasn’t skimpy on the seafood – there were loads of prawns and mussels!

The food at El Matador was VERY reasonably priced AND the servings were generous, (characteristics that are NOT shared with one of our fair city’s most popular tapas eateries…Movida I’m looking at you!!). It was traditional and rustic in style which I enjoyed. So get down to Smith St and check it out.

MITTE

76 Michael St, Fitzroy North

A girlfriend of mine who lives in Fitzroy North recommended this place to me. It’s got a reputation as one of the best breakfast places in Melbourne. So one hot Sunday afternoon we headed down for brunch. Mitte is small, so there was a bit of a wait, but it was definitely worth it.
Since I heard Mitte is famous for having some of the best poached eggs around, I opted for the poached egg with smoked salmon. Oh my GOD it was delicious! The organic, free range eggs were poached to perfection, atop wholegrain Dench bakery bread, with just the right amount of runny yolk inside. The smoked salmon came with a lovely salad with apple, fennel and a dill mayonnaise. My friends ordered the omelette which looked great, although I think it could have been a little rich for me.

Staff at Mitte were young, cool, quirky and friendly. The coffee is good and they have a nice selection of freshly squeezed juices and home made lemonades and other refreshments. It’s no wonder this place is always packed, particularly considering its location – it’s bang on for Fitzroy. Check it out.

DER RAUM

438 Church St, Richmond

Der Raum is a truly amazing bar. Located near the intersection of Church & Swan Sts in Richmond, the unassuming entrance bears little indication to the treasures that lie within. Der Raum is well known in foodie and industry circles (has featured in Gourmet Traveller magazine and also wins numerous bar awards) yet still manages to attract an eclectic and unpretentious crowd. And the cocktails, oh the cocktails. These guys really have a passion for making original cocktails and using only the best ingredients. It’s enough to make this little boozehag’s heart melt.

So while cocktails are priced between around $15 and $25 (unless you go for some of the more expensive liquors) - yes $20 is a lot to pay for a drink – however most bars charge around the $15-$20 mark for cocktails, Der Raum sets the bar quite high and other Melbourne bars pale in comparison. I mean what would you rather have: a badly-made, unoriginal cocktail with cheap spirits or a creative, innovative drink? The bartenders make cocktail-making into an art form - and I’m not talking Bryan Brown Cocktail-style with lame bottle spinning moves. I’m talking dry ice machines, weird sugar bong things and cool themes, like the pharmacy cocktail which consists of a ‘medicine’ jar, syringe and pill. It does take a while to get served, but this is to be expected in a place like this and a certain camaraderie exists at the bar as customers chat to each other and check out (and sometimes sample) their fellow patron’s drinks.

As well as some old favourites like the martini, caipirinha and mojito, Der Raum also serves new and original creations, along with old style drinks like the 1864 Manhattan. Der Raum also runs cocktail making workshops and information evenings on weeknights which I always mean to go to but haven’t quite made it yet. One day I will though. The original menu and the information nights reflect the owners’ passion for their work. They must be very happy indeed, because they seem to be doing what they love.

Der Raum is not a place to go for a quiet afternoon beer, nor a place to spend an entire evening (unless you’re well cashed up). I usually go for a special occasion or a nightcap after seeing a gig at the Corner. Definitely worth checking out.

NORTH EAST CHINA FAMILY RESTAURANT

302 Flinders Lane, Melbourne

After reading the blog ‘stuff white people like in Melbourne’ (stuffwhitepeoplelikeinmelbourne.blogspot.com – it’s very funny, you should check it out), I became very ashamed of the frequency of my visits to Shanghai Dumpling House. So I decided that I should get out there and try some other dumpling places. A girlfriend recommended it to me, so my friend D and I went to check it out one Friday night after work.

So, the first thing that had to be said is when we walked in to the restaurant, the waiter asked us if we wanted forks. Now, as someone from the northern suburbs of Adelaide who didn’t pick up her first set of chopsticks until the age of 18, and who has managed to overcome the adversity of her bogan heritage and fashion herself into a worldly, urban professional (although will exploit her bogan cred where appropriate/advantageous), OF COURSE I DON’T WANT A FUCKING FORK!! Of course, the waiter didn’t know my life story, however, if he had a clue he would know that any self-respecting white Melbournian wants to show how highly developed their chopstick-wielding skills are. Asking for a fork is like saying “I am a huge bogan and I have no idea about ethnic cuisine and yes some lemon chicken would be great thanks.”

So, forkless, we sat down and ordered some dumplings and a side serve of vegetables. I asked the waiter for a beer – the waiter (for whom English was a second language) didn’t understand what I said and asked me to repeat what I wanted. After saying “Beer” a few different ways (BEE-er, Bay-er, Be-EER) and gesturing desperately at the beer fridge, he went away, but instead of returning with an icy cold beer what does he bring me?? A FUCKING FORK, THAT’S WHAT! So I guess the waiter was like “hmmm I have no idea what this girl is asking for, she is white, she must want a fork, yeah that’s probably what she wants, I’ll go get her a fork, yeah, a fork.” I was furious, D thought this was absolutely hilarious, and in hindsight (now that I am over the trauma of it all), it was pretty funny.

So I had better move on to the food. It wasn’t bad, more expensive than Shanghai Dumpling ($8 for a plate of 15 vegetarian dumplings) but the dumplings were quite nice. The chinese vegetables we had were also good. The restaurant is also more spacious than Shanghai Dumpling, and they have their own branded crockery which is quite cute.

About halfway through the meal, my dining companion D found a plastic key tag in his dumplings. This is not good. When I pointed out to the waitress that we had found a foreign object in our food, she simply went “uhh”, and took the key tag into the kitchen. There was no look of horror, no embarrassment and no apology! This incident has caused a great deal of argument between myself and D, because I think that something like that is really, really bad (having worked in food service before), whereas he doesn’t think it’s much of a big deal (he used to work at Subway – I guess their food hygiene and safety standards aren’t that high). Although about 2 weeks after our visit, it actually dawned on me that I continued to eat my meal after the discovery of the key tag. So while I was happy to harp on about it obviously subconsciously I wasn’t concerned enough to actually stop eating!

I went back to North East China Family a couple of weeks ago – I thought they deserved a second chance. I’m happy to report that this time there was no plastic key tag in the food and I didn’t have any forks pushed on me by waiters who are insensitive to the struggles that the bogan race faces every day. The food was again good. I am still undecided though – I just don’t know if I can recommend a restaurant that doesn’t even give a shit when random objects make their way into customers food. Makes for a good story though.

CAMY’S SHANGHAI DUMPLING HOUSE

25 Tattersalls Lane, Melbourne

OK, so I LOVE Shanghai dumpling. This is probably the only restaurant I have waited outside in the rain for! Yes, I go there a lot, and yes, there have been stories of cockroaches in the kitchen, and yes the staff are rude (there is one particularly vile girl who usually is working upstairs, and every time you look in her general direction she looks at you like she is going to come into your bedroom at night while you are sleeping and slit your throat), and yes I pretty much order the same thing every time I go, but this place is a Melbourne institution. I always take interstate visitors there, and a meal plus a beer always costs $15.

I’m not too keen on the recent introduction of the ‘banquet’, it seems to me just a way to get customers to spend more money in the restaurant. I tried the banquet and found we didn’t eat half the food. I guess usually when I go there I am usually lining my stomach after a couple of after work drinks, in between the first place and the next place, so I’m not looking for a huge feed, just a quick cheap bite.

They also do BYO and corkage is quite cheap, so if you have a group you can bring a bottle of something. I usually just go for the $5 Tiger or Tsing-Tsao beers though, because it’s not the kind of place you tend to kick back with a couple of vinos. As soon as you arrive you are expected to order (no mulling over the menu!!), and as soon as you stop eating you are hustled out the door, which I like because it’s one of the reasons the food so cheap and is all part of its charm.

If you haven’t already visited Shanghai Dumpling, do so immediately, even if you are just going to bitch about it. It’s one of those places you need to know about if you’re going to call yourself a Melbournian.

EPILOGUE TO SHANGHAI DUMPLING POST:

OK so the banquet officially SUCKS. Some friends and I went in over Chinese New Year and the only option was banquet. It was awful. Half of the food is fried crap that I wouldn’t order from the normal menu, we just ate it because it was served to us. Also the owner put a plate of fried pork dumplings on our table that he had clearly just taken off another group’s table. They were stone cold and I do I even need to mention the food hygiene implications?? I mean, look, they probably do that behind the scenes, but if that IS what they do, I don’t want to know about it!! It was very blatant and there was no way we were eating them. So under no circumstances should anyone ever order the banquet. I don’t care how good the perceived value is! Normal menu is fine, banquet is not!

HELLENIC REPUBLIC

434 Lygon St, Brunswick East VIC 3057
(03) 9381 1222

So I was pretty excited when I heard George Calombaris (of Masterchef and before that, Ready, Steady Cook fame) had opened a new taverna-style restaurant in Brunswick. I was also pleased to learn that the prices were a lot less than the Press Club, thereby making his food more accessible to people like me who scrape by on a stipend (while the company I work for charges me out to clients at ridiculous rates, but that’s NOT for here!!) Anyway, I decided to get a group together and go to Hellenic Republic for my birthday recently.

Not only does this guy make amazing food, but he really knows how to run a business. He doesn’t miss a thing. When I called to make my group booking the people I spoke to were knowledgeable and friendly, and were more than happy to accommodate special dietary requirements of the group. The restaurant itself is laid back and relaxed, which appealed to me as I like good food but hate pretentious or wanky surroundings (the Rockpool Bar & Grill in Sydney is a perfect example of what I mean).

The overall dining experience at Hellenic Republic was outstanding. In fact I’m getting hungry again just thinking about it. Hang on, I need to go and get something to eat. I can’t write about this on an empty stomach.

OK I’m back, and I have a box of pizza shapes beside me to mitigate any pangs of longing I may experience while writing this. So, to pick up where I left off, our group had the banquet. Started off with some olives, dips and pita bread. The taramasalata was made with white roe and was divine. Next we had some mezze, consisting of fish croquettes, saganaki with fig jam, some kind of chick pea and cuttlefish stew, dolmades and greek salad. The saganaki was simply superb and should be mandatory for anyone who goes there. It’s probably the best saganaki I’ve ever had. The chick pea dish was also great, unassuming yet very tasty.

Next up we were served a ridiculous amount of barramundi, which was freakin’ delicious. Our group was disappointed that we couldn’t eat it all. It was so good, but we were already getting dangerously full and still had a lot of food to come out (TIP: watch your pita bread consumption….hard to do but essential for pacing yourself at a banquet of this size)!!

After the barramundi a big plate of imam bayildi and a selection of meats from the spit came out. The meat was gone within seconds, and was deliciously tender and moist. I was keen to try the Imam Bayildi, as I do a not bad version of my own and wanted to see how it stacked up. George’s recipe wiped the floor with mine and I realised how bad my delusions of grandeur in the kitchen are. I am nothing compared to the mighty George Calombaris! We also had another green salad, which was deceiving as it looked quite plain but still managed to be delightful. As well as good to nibble on in between courses……thereby still eating but not filling yourself up. Some bowls of chips came out, and they were the best chips I’ve ever had. I was so disappointed I could only manage 3 chips, I wanted to eat so many more but was full to the point of bursting by this point in the banquetL

So after all this, I had to ask the waitress to give us a little break before dessert, because we were all beginning to feel sick and I was heavily pregnant with a food baby. So after an hour or so out came dessert. The watermelon and fetta salad was a revelation. Normally I’m very wary of mixing sweet and savoury in a dish, but the combination of the fetta, watermelon, mint and almonds in a light dressing (that maybe had a rosewater base?) worked perfectly and would silence any doubter. There was also baklava, Turkish delight, donuts and biscuits.

Our group ordered an assortment of Greek wines, which were all lovely and suited the style of the food very well. The house wines were also served in cute little metal carafes, a nice touch. The staff, while young, were polite, agreeable and knowledgeable. They have obviously been trained well and enjoy their job. I really can’t fault Hellenic Republic - like I said before Mr Calombaris really has his finger on the pulse when it comes to service and dining experience. This combined with his skill in the kitchen mean there’s little question why this guy is one of the most successful chefs in Australia right now.

Our group was seated near the grill and we saw some pretty tasty morsels going out to other tables so I’ll definitely be back soon to have a crack at the a la carte menu. At $70 a head, I thought the banquet was great value - especially considering the amount of food that was served and the variety of dishes. It’s been years since I ate that much and I could barely eat for several days afterwards. Definitely wear loose and comfortable clothing when you go – no tight jeans!! I absolutely loved Hellenic Republic, so far it is my number one Melbourne dining experience. And I think it’s going to be a tough one to beat.

YELLOW BIRD

122 Chapel St, Windsor
www.yellowbird.com.au/

Yellow Bird is one of my favourite bars in Melbourne. You can go there for breakfast, afternoon beers or a nightcap. The food is cheap, plentiful and delicious. They have a good selection of reasonably priced beers and wine (including long necks of Coopers Pale Ale……YESSSS). What more can a girl ask for?

Yellow bird is the kind of bar I would have liked to open myself, if only I had thought it up before that pesky drummer for Something For Kate did! The little touches really impress me. Like the ever-changing slogan on the blackboard (my favourite one is “Please don’t ask us to turn the music down – we like it!), the menus, the wallpaper on the (tiny – smaller than an aeroplane!) toilet walls, the kitsch 60’s furniture, and the board games. There is always great music playing. Last time I went in they had a photography exhibition, which I thought was a pretty good idea and was well-suited to the venue.

As far as food goes, they do a killer breakfast burrito (something there is not enough of in Melbourne – now I just need to find some decent huevos rancheros), mean nachos ($12 for a serve which will feed 2 as a meal or 4-5 as a snack) and a raging tasting plate. Unlike many of its Chapel St counterparts, the food at Yellow Bird is cheap and servings are generous.

The staff are always friendly and laid back. I’ve never had bad service there. The people-watching is great and the bar attracts a pretty eclectic crowd. I go there as often as I can. In fact, I cannot say a bad thing about this place. Nope, can’t think of anything bad at all. Yellow Bird is awesome.